Pants Are Not Optional

After last week’s lengthy diatribe, I decided shorter and funnier would be a nice change for this week. So here I present some of the weirdest call centre happenings I can come up with.

I’ve talked a few times about a nutty employee named Julia, who managed to keep her job through a pleasant attitude and the comic relief she provided for the management team. Watching Julia at her desk was always entertaining. She wore more make-up than Tammy Faye Baker and usually painted it on while seated at her desk. This included painting on eyebrows that she’d previously waxed off. She managed to do this with one hand while typing with the other and talking to clients. Talented girl.

I’ll get back to Julia in a second, but I told that story mostly so I could tell this one. The worst story of personal habits you should never do at your desk actually comes courtesy of my old partner, Jason. He worked in a different call centre before joining ours. It was a fabulous place to work. On the nightshift, you could actually walk down the aisles and interrupt drug deals.

The story in question involved a girl sitting at her desk trimming her hair. Only it wasn’t the hair on top of her head. Let’s just say it was a lot lower and required her to be sitting at her desk with her pants open. She was dropping her trimmings on her desk. I wish I was making this up.

If anyone out there has a disgusting employee story that can top that one, please let me know. I’d love to hear it.

Back to Julia and the title of the post. Julia has clothing issues that I’ve documented before. For some reason she was seated at her desk one day when a manager noticed she wasn’t wearing any pants. Instead, her pants were sitting on the desk next to her. Not something you see every day.

Julia got called to HR (I think to discuss her pantless state). She got up, put her pants on and walked to HR. When she came back from her meeting, she took her pants off, sat back down at her desk, and continued taking calls.

Some things you just can’t make up. I don’t have the imagination to top real life.

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